12-43pm
With the divorce rate up at 50% both inside the church and out, many couples feel they go into marriage with an automatically built in escape route. “If it doesn’t work,” they say, “we’ll just get divorced.” Gone are the days, it seems, of actually living out ‘until death parts us!’ This is tough!
When Mike & I were planning our wedding, he said he wanted Psalm 127 vs 1 to be the theme verse for, not only our wedding day, but also for our marriage. Not knowing the Bible as well as he did, I just accepted that it must be an ideal verse. And so it was put on our wedding invitation which was a very simple sketch. Mike, being great at art, designed the cover and it went to the printer. I took a photo of the one in our wedding album…after almost 28 years, it’s looking a bit discoloured, but you get the picture…
Marriage is like a house. It’s got to be designed and built according to a plan. If God is the great Architect in bringing you together, He will design a perfect house (marriage) for you, but you have to do it His way. To do that, you have to read the Bible. If you don’t know the instructions for building the house, it will all be a bit messy, lopsided, laden with mistakes and your labour will be in vain. And so suddenly, all those years ago, I got the drift of why Mike thought this verse was so appropriate for marriage. If both of us read this handbook for life, the Bible, together or apart, we will start to learn what’s the best way forward. Putting God first. By God’s grace, Mike & I knew that in 1986. We both knew that if our marriage was to survive the storms of life, we had to put God first. And so on the inside of our wedding invitation, we put a statement that spoke of the decision we were about to make…
Yes, I know Mike has three names and the third is unexpected. It was a family name passed on!
But the most important thing is that we made a decision to put God first always. Mike does. I do. So when trouble comes & conflicts arise, in the end we have to come back to our relationship with God and do what He wants us to do. Inevitably, we fall back into the others arms, apologise, kiss and make. What happens after that is so interesting. We find ourselves fighting for each others cause. Quite often both of us capitulate on the point of the argument and try and allow the other to get their own way. We have put ourselves second and are trying to please the other. So then there’s another whole discussion while I try and give into Mike and he tries to give into me! And in the end, we find common ground and compromise. We both win. And that’s what you are aiming for.
Marriage is about negotiation, but you are aiming for win-win. This is your beloved life partner. The person who God has bought for you. You love him/her most. This person is your best friend, your biggest fan, has your back at all times, defends you, respects you and loves you unconditionally. Be THAT person to your spouse. There is hope for your marriage. But it means putting God first.
I’m passionate about marriage and so I’m working on a new section called Making Marriage Work. These will come in the form of short tips which I am going to record and use on air as well. So we’ve got golf, marriage & LCHF living. Sounds pretty balanced to me! And of course, woven throughout it all, comes applying Bible living to everyday life. It works! Good to keep our sense of humour while we are about it….
Thanks Nico! 🙂 After ALLLLL your years of marriage, you should know!
God bless you loads!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂
Gratitude Pic…I love bumping into people…today I bumped into Riana and so we had a last quick coffee before she heads off to Europe and the US for 6 weeks. I am going to miss her! Let me see if I can find a pic…this one will do! (Riana on the left; me on the right)
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