I read this article recently and heard about the 36 questions to ask on a first date. They are only supposed to take 45 minutes but the ‘test case’ couple took 5 hours.
The questions are aimed at finding out if there is any chance that the couple will be compatible and have any hope of all of falling in love.
As I read through the questions, I was wowwed by the depth of them. I mean this is a first date, yet there are some questions on the list that I have never asked Mike and we have been married 30 years! We clearly missed this plot.
Why I put them on my blog is to have them handy in case one day Mike and I are on our umpteenth date and suddenly run out of conversation! (Yeah right!) But they do spark conversation between couples and so are useful to have somewhere.
I think the two big issues for me when I was looking for a husband were that we would be of the same faith and that we had similar vision for the future. Worked for me!
Here are the questions: They come from Dr. Arthur Aron. Here’s the list
If you want to try it yourself, here are all 36 of Dr. Arthur Aron’s questions. You should take it in turns, each answering all 36 questions.
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
It’s interesting how many of the questions relate to death and dying. It’s the one thing that is inevitable in life. Death will happen. We have to be ready. That’s why Jesus came.
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
The best love story.
#197 of my 1000 thanks is that on the 13th day of February I am in long sleeves. Cool February day! 🙂
These are the days!
Keep the smile going.
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂