If you are going to enjoy a happier marriage, you really need to take time for YOU. I am passionate about the idea that if I look after me, I will be able to look after everybody else. I find myself coping so much more when I pace myself and just put the brakes on when I feel myself wearing out. After all marriage (and life) is a marathon, not a sprint. Enjoy it, don’t rush it.
The basis for pacing yourself comes by structuring your time in such a way that there is time for all you need to do. If you don’t have time to fill all your commitments then you are over committed and some of them have to go.
When I took over the position of as a radio morning drive show 5 days a week, the pace of my life picked up considerably. Each show took 3 hours to prepare and 3 hours to present. That was 6 hours a day just on the show alone. At times I found myself collapsing in a heap at 8pm having not stopped since 5am. It was chaos. It couldn’t continue, so I changed. Instead of working from 5am to 3pm, I worked until 11am. I then spent the next three hours doing stuff I wanted to do. I would walk or go to the beach..
I did stuff like go to gym, shopped, rested or met friends for coffee. In the afternoon I collected the children. A little later I would put dinner on and then sit down at my computer at home and do some show prep.
A lot changed. Not only did my husband have more of me, he also had a nicer me to come home to. He came home to a prepared meal and to order in the home. I was much more relaxed and was able to give him the attention he really deserved having worked a full day and had an hour on the road. I could focus on his needs, as mine had already been met. Doesn’t that sound attractive? It no longer felt like chaos. I started doing strange things like clearing out cupboards, having tea with old acquaintances and stopping to smell the roses. Sometimes, I went and bought myself roses, just to smell them!
Ten Steps to Pacing Yourself:
- Make a list of all you need to accomplish.
- Allocate the time required and the time of the day for the task to be executed.
- Evaluate whether what you have written is “do-able”
- If the answer is “no”, look carefully at your schedule and decide what task can go. Ie. You may have to cancel a meeting.
- Look at the tasks you have set yourself that someone else may be able to do. Eg. Walk the dog, do the laundry, shopping etc.
- DELEGATE – have a family meeting and discuss in a civil manner the regular tasks that need to be done and who will do what when.
- Draw up a roster including each member of the family responsible for doing their bit.
- Draw up a menu for the week ahead so you don’t have to think about what to make when. Shop for the ingredients and if you have time over the weekend, cook and freeze main meals for the week ahead.
- Allocate one evening a week when you and your spouse are able to spend time together. Depending on the ages of your children, this may entail putting them to bed early and the two of you just sitting with the TV off and chatting.
- Allocate one weekend a month where you remove all regular activities and take time to rest, reflect and recharge.
Proverbs 23:4
Don’t wear yourself out trying to get rich. Be wise enough to know when to quit.
Truth!
Keep the smile going!
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂