Funny Things David Said

So today I’ll write out some of the funny things David said. While Stacey was measuring (at 2 she took Mike’s tape measure and said “now I’m going to measure 14, 19, 14, 19, 14, 19!), David was observing people and asking lots of spiritual questions. But first at 2 and a half, he had trouble with the R sound.

  • Aunty Melly
  • Glapes
  • Bleakfast

Like Stacey, he made up words – it’s ‘blinting’ was his word for dripping. Sam sam was the early definition of sandwich.

At almost three, he observed we all had moustaches (he’s never seen Mike without one). Pointing  at my eyebrows, he said “Moustache and another moustache!” My eyebrows must have been bushy at the time.

While on a road trip:

  • Me – “David, look at the sheep! Lots and lots of sheep.
  • David  (confidentially) “Mommy, they’ve got no pants one!”


David: Mommy, did Jesus make the stars?

Me: “Yes, my boy, He did.”

David: Has He got a stick to make them with?”

Too much television seeing a wand with stars appearing!


  • David: Mommy, did God make the trees?
  • Me: Yes.
  • David: How did He make them?
  • Me: He just said the word.
  • David: Did He draw them?

David at 4:

David: Can Jesus fix cats?

Me: Yes

David: Does He have a cage to put them in?


David: Mommy, have I got two foots?

Me: You’ve got two feet.

David: Is this my one feet, pointing to his foot.

Me: Not that’s one foot!

So confusing!

When he was about 5ish, we were leaving a restaurant. There were two ladies smoking & as we walked past them, David piped up with “Hey! you’re allowed to be smoking!”

Cringe! Exit restaurant rapidly!

But he was right!

“Mommy! Look! Stacey’s got a double-decker school!”

Yip! He teaches there now!

I went through the season of bedtime stories with the children. I would read to them and then pray with them before bedtime. David came through to us after I had said goodnight and said, “Mommy never said Grace after the story!”

He began to notice how people behaved. At 6 years old he said, “Teachers don’t like boys. I don’t know why. They only like girls. The only teacher who likes boys is the librarian.”

Interesting observation.

At 7 years old: Wouldn’t life be fine if everything was free?!


At 8 years old I asked David what was said in assembly. He answered, “I was concentrating on something else.”

This seemed to be a common occurrence. He got a Merit award and they were handed out in assembly. When I asked him what he got it for, he said, “I don’t know. I was just talking to my friends in assembly and I heard my name!”

  • Mom: David, don’t you want to go and have a shower?
  • David: No thanks!

At 11 years old, he had helped out  by taking the collection in church one evening. Afterwards he piped up, “do I get commission?”

At 12 years old, I asked if he had lunch at Granny’s (Mike’s Mom). He said yes. When I asked him what he had, he said “I had a sandwich with sausage on it – at Granny’s I get real food!!”

Age 15. David & I were talking about me being on the radio. He said “none of the people at my school listen to you Mom. They all listen to 5Fm”. Some time later I mentioned on air that David was thinking of getting his eyebrow pierced. A girl from his school was listening and mentioned to him that she heard he was going to get his eyebrow pierced. He came home and immediately said, “How could you say THAT on the radio?” I replied, “None of the people at your school listen to me, remember? They are all listening to 5Fm!”

Age 17 After going to gym and asking a lady her name, she then asked me mine. When I told her Helga, she replied, “Helga van Niekerk?” I said yes and she was Oh wow, I listen to you etc. On the way home, David said, “Ja, Mom you’re a celebrity among old ladies!”

I’ll end by going back to something David said when he was close to turning 5. Mike told Stacey and David a story about being clean on the outside but dirty on the inside. David prayed to be cleaned on the inside “by God and His power!”

David with Mike on David’s 27th birthday.

The richness of my life lies in my children. What a great pleasure it is to have their talk book.

I’m sure Stacey will make a note of Elsie’s funny sayings when she starts talking!

#911 of my 1000 thanks is that I have finally broken the back of the large assignment I was given this week. Still a bit more to do, but it can wait until Monday.

#912 of my 1000 thanks is that I got my car licence renewed!


Psalm 118:15

Songs of joy and victory are sung in the camp of the godly. The strong right arm of the Lord has done glorious things.


These are the days.

Keep the smile going.

God bless you.

In His Grip,

Helga xx 🙂

Gym: I rested.

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