I was on the phone to my Aunt Rosemary last night. Yes! I have an aunt! My Mom’s late brother’s wife is in her 86th year. She lives in England, has poor eye-sight and trouble walking, so she doesn’t get out much these days. I phone her every now and again and last night was one of those times.
In the course of our conversation, we were just chatting about various people in her life and she commented on one of them being 56 and quite depressed because she is getting older and edging towards 60. Aunt Rosemary said, “you just have to get on with it, you can’t change it.” And so it got me thinking about the best way to age gracefully and I came up with these ten tips.
1. Keep Perspective
The lady Aunt Rosemary was talking about is 56 – Rosemary is in her 86th year…30 years her senior, pretty much shut-in, yet not depressed about getting older. I think one of the biggest things you can do as you age, is to get perspective. If you are 70, you are still a youngster for those who are 90. I remember my late mother-in-law (aka “Granny”) referring to Mike and his sister as “the children”….yet they were in their 50s! Until you are the world’s oldest person, there will always be people older than you with a different perspective on life. Embrace and do your best with those things you cannot change. Age is one of them. If others can do it, so can you.
2. Don’t Be Waiting – Just Be Enjoying
Enjoy TODAY! It’s so easy to fall into the childhood trap of waiting – waiting to start school, waiting to get to high school, waiting to finish school, waiting to finish university, waiting to start working, waiting to get married, waiting to have children, waiting for the children to start school, waiting for the children to finish school, waiting for the children to leave home, waiting to retire. It’s always easy to presume that when all these things happen, life will be better, yet all the time we are losing out on TODAY! Stop for a second and forget about then and focus on now. Appreciate all that is around you and decide to enjoy something about each and every day.
3. Make Friends
One of the biggest blessings of my life are my friends. There was a time when I was pretty much work and family focused and didn’t spend any time on making friends. Then suddenly one day, I stopped for a few minutes at a table of acquaintances who were sitting at the Mugg and Bean…I chatted for a short time and then left. Every Friday they were there, so the next Friday, I joined them and quickly acquired a whole bunch of friends. What a treat it has been over the past 6 years to get to know these women – we have climbed the peaks of life together and on occasions been swept into an abyss of despair with one another. We have cried together, but oh oh, we have laughed more together. We have prayed endlessly together, prayed for, prayed with, prayed about. This is something money cannot buy and I appreciate them so much. 🙂
4. Smile
My friends laugh at me; my family look amused, but admit it works; strangers probably think I’m crazy, but smiling on your own is an incredible ‘pick-me-up.’ PLEASE try it. The next time, you are feeling down in the dumps and the last thing you feel like doing is smiling, just do it. SMILE. And when you do, focus on the amazing little ‘party’ that goes on in your head. Some positive chemical response happens when you smile. I don’t understand it, but I feel it, every single time. Smiling is God’s free, instant ‘pick-me-up’ available to all at the tweak of a muscle. I remember having a bit of a barny with Mike one morning. I was furious and decided to go for a run. As I jogged off down the road, I determined to smile for the remainder of the circuit I was doing. I was astounded at the result. I left like a bear with a sore head. I returned joyful and happy. The power of a smile.
5. Take Care of Yourself
As we get older, everything starts to ‘wear out’. Bones become brittle, hormones change, our memory isn’t quite as sharp. Amid the wear and tear of life, keep looking after yourself. Eat healthily and not too much, exercise regularly, keep your brain active by learning new things. Stretch yourself. Look after yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually.
6. Count Your Blessings
You will always find someone worse off than you. Each day, make a mental note of those things you are thankful for. Some suggest a gratitude journal. Write down every day the things you are grateful for that happened that day. There are a multitude of blessings that we take for granted every day – seeing a sunrise or sunset, smelling fresh air, living pain free, having the ability to enjoy food and exercise, having homes, families, friends and pets. Being able to sleep, have occupation, weekends, holidays, freedom to worship, safety…the list goes on and on. Make gratitude an ongoing part of your day.
7. Do Something Useful
Being of some worth while here on earth is really important. All of us can do something. For 95 year old Connie Vitolo, it was crocheting blankets for boys in an Indian orphanage. In a CBN story, Connie says she prays before she begins each blanket. “I pray to Jesus, and I thank Him every day,” she explained. “When I finish one I say, ‘Thank you Jesus, don’t let me die before I finish my blanket.'” Crocheting blankets for orphans helped prevent Connie from becoming depressed. Feeling of no use and doing nothing with your life is the quick road to misery. Whatever happens, find some work. Cape Town Magazine published a list of non-profit organisations in Cape Town. These are just a fraction of the ones that are available. There are multitudes of Christian ones as well, Living Hope and Radio CCFm coming to mind. When you volunteer you skill yourself with something different and you connect yourself with others. Volunteering is often a stepping stone to a paid job. It gives you confidence and experience. And it makes you feel good about yourself.
8. Be A Good Example
As we get older, we have more people younger than us who are actually looking up to us. There are a number of women older than me who I have looked at and thought ‘that’s how it’s done!’ They have decided to embrace growing older and not crawl into a ball and mope over it. Whatever age you are, set a good example for those younger than you to follow.
9. Stay Positive
Optimism is a gift. If you have it, rejoice. If you generally veer on the side of negativity, don’t worry, you are an optimist in the making. Someone once said, ‘ your attitude determines your altitude.’ Have a positive attitude and hope for the best in life and you will find yourself much happier. Don’t dwell on negativity. In the Bible, in Philippians 4:8, we are instructed: “….whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” It may not come easy, but with practice you can learn to think more positively.
10. Have Faith in God
Studies have been done that conclude those who have faith in God are happier than those who don’t. The Huffington Post released an article and video discussion about this. A good deal of my happiness and contentment comes out of the sure foundation that I have through my relationship with God. I believe in Jesus Christ and that He died for me. This is foundational to my contentment because I know that this life is temporary and one day when I die, I go to heaven to be in a far better place where there is perfect peace. Whatever storms have to be ridden out on this earth are temporary. We need not be anxious about anything. When we hand everything over to God, we get peace.
Philippians 4:6-7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Regardless of your age, the best is yet to come.
Keep the smile going!
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂