I wrote about this last year. Now that Mike is home all the time (yayyyyy!), it needs to be employed even more, specially now that I am working (almost full time) from home.
When a relationship is just beginning, listening to the other speak is something you want to do. It comes naturally. You just want to spend time together; listen to each other; find out about each other and get to know all the others likes and dislikes. Communication starts off enthusiastically when the relationship is new and exciting, but may dwindle to rolling-eyes-back, painful hardship after many years of being together.
If you want to improve your marriage, you need to make a determined effort to bear this principle in mind, every single time your spouse opens his/her mouth to speak.
It’s the principle of listening and being interested in what the other has to say. If it’s of interest to him, it must be of interest to me.
The differences between Mike & I are vast. We are supremely opposite, yet like two trees planted along side one another, we have grown closer and our branches have certainly inter-twined. More of his likes have become my likes and more of my likes, his. It’s sweet companionship. Yet, still I find myself struggling to want to listen to his theories and explanations of things that don’t interest me, but interest him.
It’s easy to switch off, yet interject with appropriately sounding acknowledgements! It’s even easier to have my eye half on the TV or some other screen and be listening with half an ear. Yet, when Mike does that to me, it is infuriating.
The concept of listening to one another – I mean really listening and not half listening – is central to a happy marriage and it’s something I need to work on ALL-THE-TIME.
I am learning to react differently when Mike wants to speak to me about something technical, of which I know I’ll understand only a fraction! Instead of sighing, I’ll try and pay attention. I don’t always get it right, but when I do, I’m amazed at the result. Of course Mike appreciates it, but the penny that dropped in my mine was three fold:
1. I choose to do this and I feel so much better about myself when I do.
2. It takes very little of my time. When I think of the inconvenience of doing this, there is none. It only takes a few moments of my time.
3. When I listen to Mike, I learn something more about him and the projects he is working on. After a while, I understand what he’s talking about and can actually participate more constructively in the conversation.
It all starts with intentional listening.
So worth it.
From www.awesomequotes4u.com
Learn the art, form the habit, keep the box full.
James 1:19
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
That will make a difference to your relationship.
Keep the smile going!
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 