That’s a phrase that went through my mind many times when Mike’s Mom aka “Granny” was struggling through her final days on earth. Bedridden, unable to speak, hardly able to eat, she lingered. The agonising moments ticked by. It was so hard for her to die. For the last few years of her life, she really wanted to go. She had a few episodes of where she fell unconscious, collapsed and we had to carry her to her bed. When she came round, she would say, “I wish it would just take me.” When her older beloved sister, Helen passed away, we were nervous of telling her. When we did, she simply said, “good.” It almost sounded callous, but she knew that Helen would be in a far better place and it was “good”.
It was so hard to die.
Yet, life is so fragile and the end of life to the strong and healthy can come swiftly and unexpectedly. Awake in the morning, showering, shaving, smiling, saying goodbye, strong, not knowing that within an hour they would be gone. Silent. Cold. Flung from his motorbike – lifeless.
It was so easy to die.
We live suspended and with suspense about our parting from this world.
Will it be hard, or will it be easy.
We don’t know. All we do know is that it will happen and we must be ready.
What I also know is that this is not the end. This is is only a departure. It’s moving from this world to the next. The next is far better. It’s the getting there that is difficult.
I’ve been thinking about Brittany Maynard who had glioblastoma, an aggressive brain cancer. She was 29. After her diagnosis, she was given 6 months to live and she decided to not wait for the natural course of death to come, but to hurry it along with assisted suicide.
I don’t agree with assisted suicide, but I understand why someone would want to go that route. When I read Brittany’s husband’s account of her last day on earth and what she did to end her life, I understand. I don’t agree, but I understand.
I don’t agree, because I live in hope.
I believe in miracles.
On a lighter note, I have a serious case of FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out.
What if God healed me?
What if something profound happened as a result of my struggle?
A friend in our Bible study related the story of her late mother-in-law. My friend’s husband was told by the doctor that an increased dose of medication could be given his mother and it could all be over that night. My friend’s husband was adamant the doctor do no such thing. The mother went onto live several months longer, and in those months she found a relationship with God.
In those dying months, you just don’t know what will happen.
It’s so easy to die – it’s so hard to die, yet while we are on the journey, let’s cling to life, embrace the sunshine, admire the world, embrace our family, look for the good, cling to God.
I cling to You; Your right hand upholds me.
It’s not about now.
The best is yet to come.
Keep the smile going.
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂