Emotional Rollercoaster Ride…

3-07pm

The last 24 hours have been something else! Just after I posted yesterday’s blog, Mike phoned from the office. “I have some news,” he said. “Okay?” I said. “I’ve heard back from the Ladies Christian Home and they have place for Granny immediately.” Wow! I wasn’t expecting that news! It threw me into a bit of a spin. My life will change very quickly. I made Granny tea and told her the news. I don’t know if it was a good idea. Maybe I should have timed it better, but telling her was never going to be easy. She was subdued. My eyes brimmed with tears. As I composed myself,  I reminded her of the times that she has said she doesn’t want to burden us. I reminded her of the plans she had some years ago to put her own name down at a retirement home. I reminded her of how frail she is and that she can get better care at the LCH. She agreed to all I said. But it doesn’t make it any easier.  It wasn’t easy. The feeling of abandonment or the feeling of not being wanted, cannot be ignored.

Last night, I put her to bed around 7pm. Just after 8pm, Mike found her wandering around. I went downstairs to speak to her. She was clearly very distressed. Eventually, after 9pm, I put her back to bed and she said, “I want to die.” I told her that one day she would and she would see Jesus, and Pieter and Aunty Helen. “Oh,” she said, “that will be lovely. That will be lovely.” She said, “I’m so sad!” 🙁 My eyes filled with tears! This is not easy.

I read to her Psalm 34. Verse 4 is particularly relevant to her:

“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; He delivered me from all my fears.”

I got a sense of this not being my problem. God is her Father. He will take care of her.

Another hard part was still to come. Today I had to tell Mavis that from March we will only need her two days a week. That’s a loss of income of three fifths. 🙁  But again, I have to trust that my Father God will provide for Mavis.

Amidst it all, there have been some fun moments. I had Jason in the studio from 7-8am…

I went to drop something off at Wayne’s and met his A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E 7 week old puppie, Bella:

When I picked her up, she took great delight in giving me a good lick…look at that grimace on my face….Wayne got me between the squeal of it being unexpected and the laugh of delight…I was on may way to laughing!

So cute! While at Wayne’s I saw a sign that reminded me of what I’m going to be doing this weekend:

After Wayne’s I went to the Labia Cafe in Muizenberg to meet with Lucinda from Hillsong about the Colour Conference. Ladies, if you are in Cape Town, you have to be there. Priscilla Shirer is one of the speakers. She is brilliant. It is on 12th/13th April and to my horror, I am going to be out of town that weekend. I couldn’t believe that we had booked that weekend away and the place we are going to is fully booked on all sides, so I’m going to have to get the DVD series. Don’t let my absence stop you. Get straight to www.colourconference.com to get the early bird special!

I snapped Lucinda with Jacky…

Love it!

No matter what is happening in your life, God is in control. Never forget that.

God bless you!

In His Grip,

Helga xx 🙂