Driving Off a Cliff – My Menopause Journey

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The moral of today’s blog is to know yourself! I remember about 6 years ago, I went through an emotional “dip”.  I was driving home from work one day and I found myself thinking how easy it would be for me to drive off a cliff. It felt like such a reasonable idea! Ok, so maybe it wasn’t a “dip”, but rather a complete emotional plunge into an abyss of darkness! It sounds pretty drastic doesn’t it? And for someone like me, born with a smile on my face, a spring in my chubby legs and my arms raised high, it was very disconcerting. That’s why I say it’s important to know yourself. I was not myself. So I had a menopausal screen blood test done and made an appointment with the gynae.  He said, I was ‘peri’ menopausal – in other words, menopause was on its way!My Mom had breast cancer so I always knew that HRT would not really be an option. I told the Dr. of my emotional plunges. He said they were normal and that the most commonly used pills he prescribed for women in their forties (after HRT) was anti-depressants. Wow! That was a shocker. I walked out with a prescription for neither and determined to keep an eye on my emotions and “behave my way to success” or fake it til I made it! I also did one other thing. I visited my chemist’s ‘menopause’ section. I found a pill containing ‘black cohosh’ and I bought it. It was 40mg and it worked perfectly. I was on this pill for a long time – at least a few years.  Then I started with another new problem. Palpitations!  They were CRAZY!!! I would just be about to fall asleep and they would start. It was so unnerving. One night, instead of palpitations, it felt like I had a tachycardia. My heart would be beating at a regular pace and then suddenly it would race – 140 beats a minute, then drop back to normal. I was just waiting for it to stop altogether. The next day, I went to my GP for an ECG! It was entirely normal. It doesn’t matter what happens to you, God knows what you are going through. I was absolutely freaked  out by my palpitations. A solution soon came: I had run out of my black cohosh pill and went to the chemist to get it. They had no stock of my regular stuff, so I picked up the next one which happened to contain 80mg of black cohosh, double what I had been using. I bought it, started  it and immediately that night my palpitations ended. That was all about three years ago. By then I had been on this black cohosh  for about 6 years. It is plant based, available over the counter and has had very little research done on it… the effects of long term use are not researched at all.  For me, it worked perfectly. My periods dwindled, then stopped. I carried on taking it. About a year later, I figured maybe I should stop my ‘magic pill.’ So I did! Bad move! I immediately was thrown into my dark,  miserable abyss! So I went on them again and started weaning myself off. Three days a week for a month, then 2 days a week for a month, then once a week for a few weeks, then off altogether. Worked perfectly. I’m glad to say, you are now reading the words of a HAPPY! ECSTATIC! post menopausal woman!! I have a few hot flushes now and then, but they are not too bad. I’m in a good place. The only pills I take are supplements like calcium and vitamins. Change of life? What’s that? 🙂 My life hasn’t changed at all!

So here are my 7 ‘P’s for Menopause.

1. Pause… to think about how you feel. If you find yourself ‘out of sorts’, unhappy, snappish, depressed, miserable and feeling like driving off a cliff, you are probably having a hormonal shift. Have a menopausal screen blood test and visit your Dr to discuss the results. With knowledge comes understanding.

2. Patience – Be patient with yourself. If you have had teenager girls cruising through adolescence, you will have known how to handle them. Handle yourself in the same way. Give yourself the gift of grace. Keep the smile going. You will feel so much better if you just chill and just let stuff go. It’s easy to let others get to you. Don’t. If someone says something that freaks you out, ignore it. Being offended is like a handshake. There are two hands involved. Yours and that of someone else. Someone offends you –  You have to take offense.  Don’t!

3. Pamper yourself. Put yourself first for a bit. Take time out to ensure you are eating properly (I found cutting sugar helped stabilise my moods), exercising, socialising and occupying your time. Don’t get bored. Keep busy with stuff you enjoy doing. Do the things you couldn’t do when your children were young.

4. Pills – take them if you need them. Consult your Dr and keep tabs on your hormone levels.

5. Pity Parties – None of these! They don’t do you any good or the people around you. Don’t feel sorry for yourself. It gets you nowhere & is not helping you.

6. People – speak to the people in your life so they know where you are at. Your changing hormones do not justify bad behaviour or angry outbursts.  You’re grown up now! Look for the lighter side of life! Be quick to apologise.

7. Pray – I have found the best place to find some peace is when I pray. Something spectacular happens when I pour out all my issues to the One who made me!

I think that’s it.

So today, my socialising took place at Riana’s house for the last time for a couple of months. We drank the most amazing freshly squeezed veggie juice…

It looks a bit gross but it actually tastes really good. Then we watched an Andy Stanley DVD – the final part of the Sinai Code where he spoke on the last 5 of the Ten Commandments. He explained they are there to set us free. He is such a brilliant speaker. Definitely recommend him. One of the things that stood out for me is in the Ten Commandments God says to put Him first and have no other gods before Him. That’s set in stone. There’s only one other time that He mentions to honour someone else and makes it a commandment. Exodus 20.Good advice.

So it’s been a really rainy day. This was Muizenberg this morning….

And this is the cat’s new spot during rainy weather…

Have a fabulous weekend!

God bless you!

In His Grip,

Helga xx 🙂

Gratitude Pic – Riana’s amazing wheat free, sugar free, iced (using cream cheese, cream and raw honey) carrot cake…

It was delish!