It’s been a year since I took off my headphones and laid down my microphone. Wow! It went so fast! The euphoria of not having to get up so early soon passed. The honeymoon of not working faded and before I knew it, I was left with MYSELF.
It was true that I felt my whole identity was wrapped up in producing and presenting a morning drive show. For ten years, I did it. I didn’t plod along. I like to think that I hopped and joyfully skipped through a decade of early morning, 3 hour shows. It certainly felt like that. While getting up early sometimes felt a ‘grind’, spending time with God in the small hours of the morning energised, enthused and equipped me for the morning ahead. I loved being in the studio.
And now, I love being out of it!
Truth be told I didn’t lose my identity when I left my radio job. I just uncovered it again. My radio work gave me a new coat – a covering – that I wore for ten years. At the end, I shed it. I was still the same person. I still was first and foremost God’s child, with a strong anchor fixed to Him. I was still a wife and a Mom. I just wasn’t a DJ!
While I live with no regrets, when I look back at the ten years of shows, there was one thing that really came home to me. I had an overwhelming sense of having missed out on fully enjoying my children growing into adulthood.
It seems that I went to work when they were 13 & 16 and when I arrived home they were 23 and 26. Ten years of growth gone in a flash. In those ten years, I feel I had half an eye on them. The other half was on Rise and Shine. It was the huge monkey that went everywhere with me.
Every Mom looks back, stunned at the rapid passing of time and marvelling at the arrival of the amazing adults her babies have become. I felt I missed half of it.
I learned a few things in this last year:
1. Chill – I learned that it’s okay to do nothing and just let the adjustment happen.
2. Time passes – better do something. While I did spend some time doing nothing, I also learned that if you do nothing all the time, you will get nothing done! I learned ‘if it is to be, it is up to me.’
3. I learned what it was like to start at the bottom and have no one know me. I started working online for $5 an hour. I worked like that for a while before my online employer increased it and then increased it again. It’s not a bad thing to start low. I had to build trust; I had to earn respect; I had to humble myself. It was good!
4. Trust God. Each. And. Every. Day. Let Him hold your future. Let Him direct your path. He will do amazing things for you, if you let Him guide you through the maze of your life. He knows your needs. Everything you have comes from Him. As I sat at my desk the other day and I saw more and more work emailed through, I wrote down in my diary:
I’m grateful to be working from home, to have a flexible job, to feel useful, to be able to serve in an unusual way. I enjoy being unexpectedly appreciated!
Psalm 24:1
“The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it, the world, and all who live in it..”
Appreciative today.
Happy.
Content.
Found.
Keep the smile going.
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂