Trust & Betrayal

1-41pm

I used to be a very trusting person. I took everyone at face value and generally trusted them. I had no reason not to. But as I have grown older and been betrayed by  some people and treated with disdain and unpleasantness by others, I’ve discovered that not everyone is trustworthy. Sadly, I find the number of people I trust has dwindled to a few very close friends and my family.

It takes time to build up trust. And once you have been classified trustworthy, you have been given a gift and need to protect it. That means not betraying a confidence. Hold close to your heart what people tell you – don’t scatter their words or their stories amongst your friends. If you do, your friends will soon realise that they can’t trust you with their business because you can’t keep it confidential. It’s easy to tell someone something and forget to say, “actually this is quite confidential, please don’t repeat it.” So if you feel someone is confiding in you and just needing you as an ear, even if they DON’T say it’s confidential, protect them and their personal issues. It’s not your story for you to tell. It’s their story, so let them tell it.

If you MUST talk about it, talk to God about it.

I know this is not easy. I was once told something in strict confidence. I was shocked at what I was told and could not even tell Mike. I said nothing to anyone. I kept it entirely to myself. It was not easy. But it drove me to my knees before God more than ever before. It was a burden I carried and could not share. I left it at the feet of Jesus, so that the heaviness would not affect me; so the anxiety would not oppress me.

I want to be trustworthy, but I have to earn it.

Part of being trustworthy is not gossiping. A bit of an irony  in Christian circles, the gossip that is spread is in the ‘name of prayer.’ You may have a friend who says, “I’m only telling you this so you can pray about it!” That is rubbish!  Examine your motive. It just seems too tantalizing to know some juicy piece of information and the temptation to keep it to oneself is just too big. It’s so satisfying to tell others. I know. I’ve done it. It’s not good. The Bible has a stack to say about our loose tongues.

Proverbs 11:13 Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.
James 1:26 If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

I’m grateful to have people I can trust. A trustworthy person is someone who has got my back. It’s someone who I don’t have to walk on eggshells around. It’s someone who accepts me unconditionally. The people I trust, I know they have my best interest at heart. They are not jealous of me. They want what’s best for me. They rejoice in my success and encourage me in times of failure. I know they will be there when I need them. They have time for me. They respect me and they love me.

For me to be trustworthy, I must be those things to others.

Trust is such an important part of our society. It is fundamental to happiness within a family, within the work environment, within the  church and within a cell group, Bible study, ladies meeting, community group, club – wherever people meet. It encompasses confidentiality, friendship and support. When there is no trust within people in a common group, the atmosphere becomes stressful and toxic. Group members begin to withdraw.

Quite sobering.

But it can change.  We just all need to be trustworthy, to keep our mouths shut and to inspire confidentiality. On the flip-side, here’s how NOT to do it…

God bless you!

In His Grip,

Helga xx 🙂

Gratitude Pic…Cottage nearly ready for guests on Sunday!