The God-Shaped Hole

2-16pm

To cast my mind back to a time when I didn’t have a relationship with God is to go back 35 years. It’s not a feeling that I can equate with adulthood, so my reflection today is one through the eyes of a young teen.

My Dad could be described as eccentric! His journey through life went along several paths of ideology and theology that were a far cry from Biblical. I recall, on several occasions being taken to the home of the ‘Swami.’ He was described as a ‘holy man’ who, my Dad said, could know when he was to die. As a child, I would look wide-eyed as Dad told me stories of the Swami standing on his head and contorting his body into incredible shapes, of instances of deep meditation. When we went to his home, there was a

My Dad

shrine to the side and when we entered we had to take off our shoes. For many years, a photo of the turban clad, soft-eyed Swami looked down on our dining room table. I think my Dad found some security in a human who could possibly lead him to God. He was looking in the wrong place. My Dad was looking for something to fill His God-shaped hole. The mystic Swami didn’t do it. The Theosophical Society was also a stop along his spiritual journey. What went on there, I never knew. But that soon ended and my Dad seemed to start more on a Liberal Catholic way of life. It was then that the scent of incense began to fill our home. Chanting, prayer books, bells and smokey Eastern smells marked the strange, formal service that Dad insisted I attend. It was not to my liking. I was bored and would do anything to get out of it.

How exactly my Dad came to a full, meaningful relationship with Jesus, I don’t actually know. All I know is that he did. Despite this, he wanted more. He was always searching. Eventually, several years prior to his death, he converted to Greek Orthodoxy. There he found a blend of history, tradition & peace. For us, it was always unusual. His wife, Miriam, my step-mother, patiently tolerated pictures of icons adorning the walls of their study. Not long after their wedding, she had successfully managed to lose the picture of the Swami. He loved the Greek Orthodox Church, despite some of their unexpected beliefs, like the Toll Gate. After death, that’s where you went, Dad said, until such time as you were ready for heaven. When I asked him about the Bible verses, ‘absent from the body, present with the Lord’ and Jesus saying to the thief on the cross, ‘today, you will be with me in paradise’, he simply replied, ‘I don’t expect to be there for long!’

All of us have a God-shaped hole. It’s this deep yearning for satisfaction in life. When I gave my life to Christ, He filled it. But my experience has also been that even though we are saved by Him, the abundant life He wants us to have comes by ongoing surrender to Him.  So often, I have let worry and anxiety creep into my soul, squeezing out peace and joy. What I have found to be remarkable is the speed at which abundance can return. A simple prayer of surrender, a silent bowing to God in submission, a humble request for forgiveness and a peace comes that defies understanding. I have not earned it. I have not paid for it. Yet I enjoy it. What a loving God who continually meets us at our point of need.

On Friday night, when I was watching David on stage at The Big Picture, I was a typical, ridiculously proud Mom. I only had eyes for my son. I watched his every move. A smile permanently on my face, trying to catch his eye, I even waved at one stage! 😀  And then I got this little thought, dropped by the Holy Spirit into my mind, ‘that’s how God sees me.’ He is ridiculously proud of me. He wants to catch my eye. He wants to wave at me. He wants me to see His smile. His love is so much bigger than I could ever imagine. And that is how He loves YOU too.

Romans 8:

35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean He no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?  37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

God loves us, regardless.

Keep the smile going.

God bless you!

In His Grip,

Helga xx 🙂

Gratitude Pic… no stress