My 10 Habits for Happy Couples

3-45pm

My friend, Riana, shared on FB, an article written by Dr. Mark Goulston – it’s been read by over half a million people! The topic 10 Habits of Happy Couples.  I agree with them & was tempted to put a link to his blog here, but as I scrolled through them, others came to mind, so I decided to put down my own 10 habits. These are what have worked for Mike & I.

1. Have a Loving Bedtime Routine.

When I was getting up really early, I would always go to bed ahead of Mike. But usually, he would come and ‘tuck me in.’ I know it sounds just very child-like but the security that came with it was wonderful! I would say “I’m going to bed,” and he would come and lie down next to me, make sure I was warm enough and kiss me goodnight. It only took 30 seconds, but it was loving and left me drifting into a warm and fuzzy, peaceful sleep. Let your bedtime routine include peaceful goodnights, even if you don’t go to bed at the same time.

2. Have a Loving Morning Routine.

In days gone by, I would leave home around 5am. Before I left the bedroom, I would pray over Mike. Often-times he would be fast asleep, but sometimes he would be awake. I asked the Lord to bless him and keep him, for the Lord to make His face to shine upon him and be gracious to him; to lift up His countenance upon him and give him peace. That’s Numbers 6:24-26. Now that I am at home, just before Mike leaves, he comes and prays over me. And when he’s tired and still a bit blurry-eyed, I will pray for him. It allows us to part in peace and with a loving, warm and fuzzy feeling!

3. Amidst Vast Differences, Find Common Ground.

For Mike & I, we needed to work hard at this. We are so vastly different. We think differently and  our likes and dislikes are light years apart. For all of our (nearly) 28 years of married life, we have continually worked towards finding things that we both can enjoy together. Most recently, golf has been the common enjoyment. I love walking and serving Mike, so golf is a good way to do what I like. I love caddying for him. It’s so fulfilling. It’s a great way for us to spend time together. And I get to do another favourite thing – I love to socialise with other people. Going to golf with Mike allows more of that in my life. So it works well all round.

Selfie Dressed For Golf

4. Money Matters – What’s Yours in Mine and What’s Mine is Yours.

In marriage, money matters can make or break your relationship. Deciding upon who is responsible for what when it comes to spending needs to be discussed. Mike & I have always had a policy of what’s his is mine and what’s mine is his. Our financial habits have always included tithing, giving and saving. In lean times, we have always both cut back, understanding that more abundant times will come. If we need to make a big purchase, we have always consulted one another before buying.

5.  Intimacy is Important!

Sex is important in any marriage. Physiologically, men need more sex than women. That’s how they are made. Happy couples will learn to meet the others needs as often as required & they are sensitive to each other. When it comes to intimacy most satisfied couples strive to make the other happy.

6. Happy Couples Don’t Stop Talking.

Ongoing communication about anything and everything is a key to a happy marriage. Finding out what the other wants and doesn’t want is a life long experience. Life moves. Marriage is never static. We are all ‘growing up’, getting older & needs are changing. Talking about dreams, desires and difficulties increases the understanding you have of one another.

7. Practice Encouragement Every Day.

Happy couples are the others biggest fan. They support one another’s endeavours. Not only are they a daily encourager, but they also help one another achieve their goals. They are a team, working towards the success of the other. Happy couples avoid criticism & focus on spurring one another onto reach their dreams.

8. Avoid the Appearance of Evil.

There’s a Bible verse that uses this phrase. It’s 1 Thessalonians 5:22 that suggests everyone avoids the appearance of evil. Couples will do well to follow this advice. Make it a habit to avoid dubious situations where you working alone with a member of the opposite sex. Married businessmen who are wise will not take their female secretaries on business trips. Working wives will put up firm boundaries between them and their male counterparts. Happy couples do everything to keep in tact their ‘oneness’, not allowing the interference of any other party in their relationship.

9. Speak Highly of One Another.

A healthy habit among happy couples is to speak highly of one another. This happens not only in public, but also in private. It is a very pleasant thing indeed to hear words of affirmation and appreciation spoken to a wife by a husband in the privacy of their bedroom, with no one to witness the event, except God alone. Therein lies a sincerity and honesty that settles the fact deep into the woman’s heart, strengthening trust, raising love and often-times causing response far beyond a husband’s expectation or even knowledge.

10. Having Faith.

For me, this is the most important habit that Mike & I as a couple can nuture. My confidence as an individual is not founded in my relationship with Mike or all he does to enhance my life. My confidence is founded in Jesus Christ. Take Mike away and I would be devastated,  as 1 Corinthians 4:8 says, I would feel afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed… and that’s because my foundation is secure. When both husband and wife are striving to put God first; striving to live life according to the Bible, the habits they cultivate are Christ-centred. You will both be working towards putting Jesus first, the Other next and Yourself third- making a JOY that is long lasting and very satisfying.

So those are my 10 habits. I hope they are yours too. I know there are more, but that’s it for now!

Keep the smile going!

God bless you!

In His Grip,

Helga xx 🙂

Gratitude: Happy husband…