It was late Saturday afternoon and I was at the gym. On the treadmill next to mine was a young good-looking 20 something year old guy. He was in the middle of a good run – in full flight in fact when a young blonde girl arrived. The reaction was instant. I’ve never seen such a quick response. Mr. Nice Guy hit the emergency STOP button on the treadmill and leapt off to give “Blondie” his full attention! Smitten, I’d say! Oh remember those times, early in your dating days when any sign of attention was met with enthusiasm and immediate response. You’d drive miles and miles to see, hear or please your potential beau. Love letters, flowers and shy glances across crowded rooms were the order of the day.
With marriage comes responsibility and when the honeymoon is over & the job of getting on with life begins, attention fades. It seems that nothing is as important as meeting the thousands of demands that flood into our lives. They contribute to the house and future but neglect the relationships of those who are part of it.
Best friends spend a lot of time together and throughout your married life, don’t ever let that stop. Even when the children arrive, spend time with each other. Get in a baby sitter, dress up, go out and enjoy focusing on each other.
I remember when our children were aged 7 & 10. We had no family in our city to whom we could send them. Single parent families would often send their children to the other parent and they would fly as unaccompanied minors across the country. The Mom left at home would have a week or more without her children. I often wondered what that was like and it led me to hatch a plan! I just felt I didn’t want to have a divorce before I had a break from my children! A phone call to my sister in Johannesburg was all it took to arrange a week’s holiday for my two. They would fly as unaccompanied minors to visit my sister. And so with tears in my eyes, Mike & I kissed them goodbye at the airport and off they went. It took us the rest of the day to get over the trauma! But before us lay 7 uninterrupted days. It was like a second honeymoon and we enjoyed it immensely. We missed the children terribly, but were able to renew a friendship that was around long before they came on the scene and one that has continued long after they have moved out. It was worth it.
So how do you know if you are spending enough time together? How well do you know them? Here are some questions – see how many you can answer.
- § How much time do you spend in uninterrupted conversation per day?
- § When was the last time you went out on a date?
- § Do you know your spouse’s daily schedule?
- § Do you know basic facts about your spouse, like their favourite colour, their favourite food, their dreams, their greatest fears?
- § Is your spouse happy with his/her sex life?
- § Do you know what your spouse hates most about his/her life?
- § Where does your spouse have his/her hair cut?
- § Do you know which physical feature your spouse is least happy with?
- § What is your spouse’s favourite holiday destination?
- Do you think your spouse is lonely?
Proverbs 18:22
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.
Appreciation goes a long way!
Keep the smile going!
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂