I heard a story once of a woman who had been married for many years. Dinner party after dinner party she endured her husband’s referral of her as “heffalump” in criticism of her weight. She was embarrassed every time, but kept her feelings under wraps, until one evening she could tolerate it no more. He made the comment; she got up and left.
Later that in evening in a flood of tears she poured out the humiliation and shame she felt every time he had used the term. He just didn’t know how much it hurt her to hear him calling her “heffalump”. Naturally, he apologized and from then on never called her it again, but it was a hard and public lesson for him to learn and one we can all learn from.
Every one of us have physical attributes we would like to change. Head for a happier marriage by not making any negative comments about your loved ones negative physical attributes.
As we mature, it is easier to accept someone making fun of you. But when the mockery comes from those nearest and dearest to you, those who are there to protect and love you, it is very difficult to not feel hurt.
If your husband or wife is overweight, accept them as they are. You may want to encourage the other to join you in an exercise plan, suggesting a daily walk, telling them you want to eat more healthily and directing them into a more healthy diet. But don’t criticize their weight. It’s a sensitive subject and one which should only be broached if the other raises the issue.
Admiration and compliments go a long way in making a marriage happy. Focus on the positive in your spouse. Remind your partner of all the good things about them, not only physically but also their abilities. Remember you are treating your spouse in a manner that will enhance their self-esteem.
If you’ve never complimented your partner before, here’s where to start. Make a list of the reasons why you married your partner in the first place. Very quickly all the good things will come to the fore, like his/her love for you, kindness, compassion, patience, generosity, appreciation, amazing coffee making ability, sense of humor, leadership qualities, love of God and family, perseverance, sensitivity etc. My list could go on and on. Then, from time to time, drop in a compliment pertaining to one of the items on your list. Complimenting your partner can turn the relationship around. Try it!
Matthew 11:29
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”
Keep the smile going.
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂