Life can get very crowded. The seasons of life change regularly. We go from young singles, to young newlyweds. The honeymoon is soon over and we get into the work of married life. The first year may be tough with adjustments to be made, but once we get beyond those, we usually find a level and start working towards settling down, establishing ourselves and making a home and security for our family.
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The arrival of children takes us into a different season. As they grow, the seasons change with their needs. Nappies give way to bicycles, school uniforms and academic achievements. School activities, driving licenses, dating, acne and braces are all a colourful season dictated to us by the lives we have bought into this world.
It’s so easy to get carried away with all that is going on around us. It’s easy to change our focus onto the children, our jobs or other distractions.
Many women give their full attention to the newborn…how can they not? But it is a season where the husband can feel neglected. After all, he did come first. With babe in arms, he now has to take second place. It’s not an easy feat for a husband. The new mom on the other hand can’t always understand what the problem is. But it is a problem.
I have often heard Dr. James Dobson say “the best thing you can do for your children is to love their mom/dad”.
With marriage, you have to do what needs to be done with the family, but with time and attention constantly focused on your spouse. Whatever happens, the relationship you have with your spouse must be a top priority.
One day the children will leave. You raise them to leave and to go and stand on their own two feet. But when they go, you will be left with your spouse so that has to be taken into account from the very first day that the little critter takes his/her first cry. You’re a team. Work as one.
Children will demand time and attention and there may be times when the relationship we have with our spouse has to take 2nd place. But it’s best to get it back to the prime spot as soon as you possibly can.
Careers demand attention, but it is critical to keep focused on your marriage. Always let it be that you come home to your spouse – that they are the first person you turn to in time of need or attention – they are the one you call with the good news or the bad – they are your soft place to land.
Ten Ways to Remain Focused on Your Marriage.
- Set aside alone time to be spent with your spouse.
- Prioritize activities to include them as often as possible.
- Know and meet your spouse’s needs.
- In particularly busy times, stay in extra touch via phone or email.
- Reassure your partner of your love and desire to please them.
- Understand that ebb and flow in marriage and that the pendulum will swing back to a less busy time.
- Keep romance alive.
- Do something special once a month.
- Spoil your spouse.
- Make sure everyone knows how important your marriage/spouse is to you.
Bonus: Meet your spouse’s need for intimacy. 🙂
Ephesians 5:33
However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Keep the smile going.
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂