Well known financial guru Suze Orman said: “ In my years of talking to thousands of people who’ve had no money, some money, and heaps of money, I’ve found that it doesn’t create or sustain happiness. That’s not to say that money isn’t an important factor in our emotional state—if we can’t pay our bills and support our families, we carry a great deal of stress on our shoulders and in our hearts. But it’s seriously flawed logic to jump from a position of “money is important” to “money is the key to happiness.”
Orman went onto say that arguing over money is the number one cause of divorce in the United States.
Mike & I entered the world of Mr. & Mrs without too much cash. When we started planning our marriage, Mike had a guitar and an iron. I had a kettle and an iron! I also had a pre-owned car. Two irons, a kettle, a guitar and a car! Oh what a lot of fun we had. We were under no illusions that we would buy everything new. Apart from a scatter rug, all that we bought was second hand. If we didn’t buy it, we made it ourselves. We had an enormous amount of enjoyment bargain hunting, so much so that to this day we can remember clearly what area of Cape Town we bought what and how much it cost us. We paid cash, renovated and voila, we had an apartment full of furniture. I well remember, much to the amusement of onlookers, Mike & I sitting in the courtyard of the YMCA (where he worked at the time) watching our new (19 year old – given to us free) repaired washing machine being put through its paces. I may not be as enthusiastic to get a load of laundry on the go today, but we couldn’t find dirty clothes fast enough at the time to try out our newest acquisition. Our very first washing machine…what excitement. The stove came with a broken plate – we knocked the sellers down R30, replaced a broken fuse (cost R2) and we had a perfect stove, which lasted us 18 years! We shelled out R450 for our microwave in 1986. That was one of the most expensive purchases. It was a microwave as well as a grill and oven. It lasted more than 18 years. The fridge was R390.
My wonderful mother-in-law heartily agreed with us buying used furniture with one exception. “Don’t buy a second hand bed”, she said. “Oops!”. Mike already had. It was a lovely queen size bed and mattress purchased for the princely sum of R100. We slept on that bed for 16 years. The lounge suite was purchased for R99. We bought 40 meters of fabric and Mike set about reupholstering it. The remainder of the fabric was turned into curtains and we had a fabulous lounge! That lasted us about 10 years. Our dining room table was another wonderful buy. The lady who sold it to us was so excited that she was selling it to an engaged couple she dropped the price. Mike made wall units, coffee tables and a writing desk. We saved a fortune in startup costs and began our married life entirely debt free.
Some of you may read this and roll your eyes back, but it has been worth every wise second hand decision to have lived a life without the stranglehold of debt. Married life is tough enough without money issues to add to your difficulties. Remember that arguing over money is the number one cause of divorce in the US. It’s worthwhile to reduce money problems as much as you can. Mike came from a very conservative financial background and debt was one thing he refused to get into.
As the years have passed, we have gradually replaced the 2nd hand furniture at a pace and time that we could afford. It’s been fun and exciting. We’ve always paid cash and apart from the house and cars have never bought anything on credit.
I don’t want you to think that it’s always been plain sailing. When I was pregnant with my daughter and for a year after her birth we were a single income family and needed to stretch our pennies. We bargained with each other over what was important and at times had to do without seemingly inexpensive luxuries. When Stacey was 13 months old I started working part time and this just gave us a little extra to put us on our feet.
Here are some of the simple rules that have allowed us to maintain our financial stability:
1. Don’t buy on credit. Rather save and pay cash.
1. Buy second hand if second hand is to be had.
2. Bargain hunt on new items – shop around.
3. Don’t waste money on cigarettes, alcohol and lotto.
4. Don’t buy what you can’t afford. Eg luxury house or car
5. Spend as little as possible.
6. Be responsible for what God has given you – after all it all belongs to Him.
7. Tithe.
8. Be generous to others and to each other.
9. Remember you can’t take it with you!
10. What’s Mike’s is mine and what’s mine is Mike’s.
11. Each have your own account so there is a degree of financial independence on both sides – don’t withhold financial needs from the other.
12. No financial secrets allowed.
We started with Suze Orman’s quote. Here is more of her sound advice:
• Talk WITH each other, not TO each other.
• You don’t need a parent, but rather a partner and a friend.
• Sit down once a month and go over the bills.
• Assign roles to each of you in the finances
• Be positive and patient.
(June 2001 O Mag)
Hebrews 13:5
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Keep the smile going.
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂