Living With Regrets

12-46pm

The older I get, the more clearly I see how easy it is to make rash decisions that cause pain and suffering to those nearest and dearest to you.

My beloved Mom passed away in 2004. For more than 2 decades she carried a regret that was really only dealt with on her death bed.  She and my Dad were estranged. She was living with someone else at the time that my sister was about to get married. My Dad and Mom had a massive disagreement about their attendance at the wedding. My  Mom in the end refused to go. It was a decision she would live to regret. Just a few weeks before her death, she called my sister to her bedside and asked her forgiveness for not going to her wedding. Anne was quick to say  that she had nothing to forgive. Anne and her husband Derek, while upset at the circumstances at the time, didn’t hesitate in embracing my Mom after they married, spending lots of time with her, celebrating life, helping in sickness and caring for her while she was dying. I’m sure if my Mom could have turned back the clock and done things differently, she would have been at that wedding in a heartbeat.

My Mom and I in about 1981 – two peas in a pod

My Mom did make right. I remember in 1996, when Mike & I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary – she called to congratulate me and tearfully said, “If only your Dad and I had been Christians when we had been married for 10 years, everything would have been so different.”

We all make mistakes, Christians or not. It’s best to think carefully about the decisions we make and contemplate how they will affect those we hold most dear to us. Most times, it is worth making sacrifices to prevent the pain that our actions may cause.  Many times, on the point of divorce, if a couple perseveres for 5 more years, they discover they are no longer wanting to separate. Sometimes, all it takes is three little words, “just carry on.”

The regrets that I carry make me stronger and more determined to ensure I don’t make them again. I strive to enhance the relationships I have with my family.

Remain humble. The validity of words from the Bible stand sure throughout the centuries of time. Whatever religion you are, humility is important. We are not as great as we may think we are. There will always be someone more important than us, wealthier, more clever, prettier, more handsome. Best to lower your expectations and take on a servant heart. We don’t live this life for our own benefit

Micah 6:8

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?

We are there for the benefit of others. Be just, be kind, walk humbly.

It’s not about me.

If we live life putting others first, looking to the needs of others, something unexpected happens. We soothe inner pain by looking outwards.

I’m very like my Mom. I love words, I am outgoing, I am joyful. She was all that and a whole lot more! My Mom may have lived with regrets, but she died with relief. She spent the last 12 years of her life serving God, seeking Him, enjoying her relationship with Him, growing closer to her family and embracing the joy that God gave her in return. I’ve put this note from her on my blog before. It is stuck on a cupboard in my bedroom and my eye falls on it from time to time. It always has impact. She wrote it, probably from what she had heard in a sermon. It gave her strength to remember that she is forgiven….for me it is a treasure…

She had no idea that her family would read it many times over….Philippians 3:13-14

…. one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.…

God does not want us to live with regrets. Make right with family and friends while you can, so you can be free to enjoy the life He has given you to live.

Keep the smile going!

Please continue to pray for Hannelie Groenewald.   The funeral of her husband and children (see South African family martyred for their faith)  is on Friday at 10am. Please pray for her as she faces this difficult time.

God bless you!

In His Grip,

Helga xx 🙂

Gratitude Pic…..cool overcast day in Cape Town……I put our winter blanket on top of the cupboard…Truffles found it…creature comforts…”a whole blanket all to myself!”