I have been thinking back to my journey through empty nesting. I actually didn’t realise until recently that I made this transition very easily. After Stacey and Adrian married in 2009, Mike and I were left with Granny (Mike’s Mom) in the cottage behind our home and David inside. A month after the wedding, Granny fell in her kitchen and broke her hip. Six weeks later, after surgery and rehabilitation, she could no longer live alone and I swapped an 18-year-old for an 85-year-old. David moved into the cottage. Granny moved inside. It wasn’t a swap I relished, but it was one that I accepted. I loved Mike’s Mom and it was a great honour for me to care for her. I can’t say it was easy, but it was a loving and nurturing season and relationship and certainly filled the empty nest. In 2012, Adrian and Stacey went travelling. David moved into the Fish Hoek flat they vacated. The cottage stayed vacant and Granny, Mike and I lived very contentedly inside the main house. By the end of 2012, Granny was becoming more and more frail. She insisted on trying to get up in the night and would walk in the dark to the bathroom. She had a number of falls, but fortunately no bones were broken. In February 2013, we managed to get her into the Ladies Christian Home in Gardens, Cape Town. It was a huge step for Mike and I. I rather wanted to see her to the end of her life here at home, but with me working and her falling, she was becoming a bit of a danger to herself.
At the time, I was working at CCFm and twice a week I would go into Cape Town to visit her. Mike went once a week as well. Between work and these visits, life remained busy.
And about March 2013, I got Truffles! This was taken on 12th March 2013 and was probably one of the first photos I took of her! If I felt the need to nurture, Truffles arrival did the trick. She looks so thin here.
Quite suddenly in September 2013, Granny fell ill and passed away on 7th October 2013. While we mourned, we understood that the wheels of life were turning and that she had gone as she should – she was born, lived a full and happy life and died old (aged 89) and full of years. Life at that time for Mike and I was busy as we were preparing for an overseas trip.
It was only the next year, that I began to brace myself for real emptiness. At the end of May 2014, I left CCFm after ten years of doing the Rise and Shine show and a further ten years of selling advertising and doing a bit of on air work. On Monday 2nd June 2014, I woke up and didn’t have to get up and go to work. Mike did. Suddenly, the house was very very empty and quiet. I think I understood at the time that I would need to be patient with myself. There would be a transition. I didn’t realise quite how quick it would be. By July 2014, I had found a job through Upwork.com that would result in the role I now play in teacher recruitment. It was a few hours here and there initially, but it soon grew until I stopped working for them through Upwork and started working for them directly. That happened in 2016.
I think the two things that really helped were having Granny and working and then having Truffles and working!
Work really helps off-set the sting of an empty nest and so do pets. Something to nurture helps.
Riana with her new dog Meggie…
Meggie is LOVING her new home. She was completely overwhelmed being at Tears. She was shy and nervous, hiding behind her bed and refusing to come out…
Now it’s a whole different ball game…here she is chilling on the couch with her toy dog…
So very cute and feeling very pampered.
Have an empty nest? Get a pet! They work wonders (oh and opt to adopt!)
#625 of my 1000 thanks is for the four Skype calls I had today. I was busy. Busy is good.
Colossians 3:12
As the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, long-suffering.
These are the days. Enjoy each one.
Keep the smile going.
God bless you.
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂
Gym:
- Fast walk: 30 minutes
- The Grid: 30 minutes