Criticism and How to Handle It

This morning as I posted a devotion to the Helga’s Daily Blog Facebook Page, I had a moment of hesitation.

A couple of misgivings fluttered through my mind. “What if I am judged?” “What if I am criticized for this?” “What if people don’t like it?” The insecurities I had many years ago, as a young and inexperienced journalist/writer, for just a moment flooded back to me. It made me realise a few things.

1. It is risky to ‘put yourself out there.’ When I started writing this blog, it was a challenge of discipline to myself to see if I could write every day. I didn’t have to share the blog on Facebook, but that’s what I ended up doing. I was on air at that time and people were sometimes interested it what I was up to. I know many people are interested in other people’s lives and they spend hours cruising through social media peeking into other’s homes and lifestyles. I thought let me write about life from a Christian perspective. The Bible is applicable today. Let me apply it every day to my life and to my blog. But in doing so, with it comes a degree of vulnerability. I learned that if I was going to put myself on social media, I was going to open myself up to criticism.

2. You will be criticized whoever you are. You don’t have to write or be in the public eye to be criticized. Just be on planet earth, and you will find criticism come your way. A casual glance may result in someone spitting: “Don’t look at me like that!” Angry drivers shake fists and gesticulate wildly at each other. Oh boy, when I was on air, I soon realised I couldn’t be all things to all people. The expectations were enormous, from the music I didn’t play and should have to the music I played and shouldn’t have. From what I said and who I interviewed. From the tone of my voice to the sound of my laugh, people had an opinion. But the best came from the expectation of what I looked like! The number of times I was told “you look totally different to what I was expecting!” You cannot be all things to all people.

People are thinking more about themselves than you, so don’t dwell on their opinion – get on and enjoy life. 

But also don’t let flattery go to your head.

3. Don’t take the bait. With all of these things, I learned not to take the bait. People want a reaction to their unpleasantness. Ignore it. I  posted a number of articles on a news website. Most of them ended with a comment relating to God’s point of view. Oh! The backlash was remarkable. An out-pouring of wrath from those who don’t believe in God. As I read through all the comments, I just knew it would be a waste of time trying to defend myself. They will have answers and more criticism. I refused to take the bait. The end result: the whole ‘discussion’ fizzled out. Heated arguments over what you believe verses what they believe don’t really achieve anything except high blood pressure and distaste.

4. Constructive Criticism. Sometimes people would come to me with constructive criticism. They came in love. They came with my best interest at heart and not theirs. That was the difference. They cared. When people do that for you, it may not be something you want to hear, but listen to them. Think about what they have said and perhaps implement their ideas. Not everyone in my life has the right to criticise me, even if it is constructive. You have to earn that right. When criticism comes from someone I trust and care about, I listen closely.

5. Get over it. Don’t let criticism cut you up and ruin your life. Hurt people hurt people. Often others cutting remarks come from their own pain. If someone says something cutting and hurtful that you know is not true, let it go. Don’t assimilate it; don’t let it grow into a toxic tree in your brain. Rather reinforce  the good things in your life, in your behaviour and what God has done for you. He’s the One who is ultimately in charge of your life. In all circumstances revert back to God and what He has said in His Word. He is the final Authority on the criticism that comes your way, so evaluate it in the light of the Bible. You will soon find it fizzles away.

So back to the misgivings about this morning’s devotion. So what if people don’t like it? So what if I am criticized? So what if I am judged?  I have to live this life of mine. I am the only one who can do it – no one else. I have to be accountable for my actions whether they be in the public arena or behind closed doors. I have to live my life an open book before God. He will have the final say.

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Keep the smile going.

God bless you!

In His Grip,

Helga xx 🙂