I remember the moment well. I was 12 and my Mom had come home to pick up a few final things before moving out. She wanted to reach out to me – to explain further that what was going on was not my fault. She wanted to take me in her loving arms and hug me – to express her compassion.
I wouldn’t let her.
I ran outside. She followed. I ran to the other side of the swimming pool. She tried to get to me. As she tried to move round the pool to me, I just kept going, until eventually, she gave up. Exasperated, she said, “one day you’ll understand.”
And she left.
It was a heartbreaking moment. Heartbreaking for her – heartbreaking for me. Painful for her. Painful for me.
Thirty years later, I felt I began to understand.
There is great perspective in the passing of time.
The older I get, the more I realise that because we humans will never be perfect, we are not capable of having perfect marriages or families.
We do the best we can at the time.
Our parents did the best they could at the time, for us. We, as parents do the best we can at the time, for our children. And, as I discovered when I looked after Mike’s Mom (aka Granny), as adult children, we do the best that we can at the time, even for our parents.
I think in the whole process, the one thing that we want to try and avoid in dealing with those around us, in our marriages, in our families and in our friendships, is to avoid causing pain.
- Don’t do anything to hurt yourself.
- Don’t do anything to hurt others.
- Don’t let anything master you.
(The Andy Stanley)
It comes down to the golden rule. Jesus spoke these words, Matthew 7:12
It means taking the high road.
See and treat those around you through a filter of love.
Avoid causing pain.
Sometimes we do it without thinking – unintentionally.
It is not easy.
You do the best that you can at the time.
Keep the smile going.
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂