Coming from Zimbabwe, one of the things that happened was the mass exodus of people from that country. They moved to all corners of the world – many came to South Africa. Friendships were fractured, families separated and relationships that could possibly be life-long – suddenly were truncated.
After I left Zim 33 years ago, I lost contact with dozens of school friends.
But the world has become a very small place and over the last 8 years or so, one school pal after another began to reappear on Facebook.
While I was growing up, I lived in many different houses. My parents never owned property and so we never put down roots. The longest we lived in any one house was about 4 years.
After I married, Mike & I moved twice. Our first home was a comfortable 2 bedroomed first floor flat in Tamboerskloof. After living in the nurses’ home and YMCA, we practically thought it was a mansion. 6 months after our wedding, we moved to Paarl and rented a small cottage on a farm. It had one enormous bedroom and one tiny one. The tiny one became the nursery when Stacey arrived. We were in Paarl for 2 and a half years, moving to the Fish Hoek area in 1989.
And here, we have put down roots.
Deep ones.
We are established.
One thing I learned after I moved here and we got on with raising a family was that there are going to be people you encounter in life who you won’t get on with. But, because you are living in the same area, be at peace with them none the less. You will need to shop in the same shops, visit the same beach, walk the same pavement – in this small valley, you can’t avoid seeing them, so it’s best to take Paul’s advice.
Romans 12:18.
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
How is this possible?
There have been a few people in my life with whom peace-keeping has been difficult! To be honest, in the end, I’d rather just let them be and not get involved in their lives.
But living at peace with everyone is not a sweet ideal – it’s a Biblical instruction. Paul lived and worked with people too. They weren’t easy. Several times in Paul’s letters, he refers to conflict and how to resolve it. No wonder he says, ‘If it is possible’; I can imagine that at times, it was not. You cannot control others. When you are at odds with someone else, you can only control yourself and your own response to them. You cannot control what they say or do. So if it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live at peace with them. That’s controlling your response to them….make it a peaceful response.
Sometimes, these things take time. If there has been a breakdown in a relationship and there is no peace between two people, the passing of time may be required to soften the hearts of those involved, to allow acceptance, forgiveness and the fruit of peace.
I have been interested in what God has done for me, when I have had awkward relationships that have not exactly been fluffy and peaceful. Tense and uncomfortable are more accurate descriptions. Yet,after a while, at the perfect time, God has led these people to cross my path again and in doing so, I have found my heart to be softened towards them. In fact after being hurt badly by someone, when I next encountered this person, my heart was no longer a heart of stone. I dug deep to see what had happened to the resentment I once harboured – I looked for bitterness and anger, but it was gone. I was almost shocked. God removed it. He does the work.
There will always be difficult people. God does not rush. Sometimes, these things take time, so be patient. Keep praying. God will do the work. Living at peace with everyone is possible with God.
Keep the smile going!
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂