A Message For Wives

10-46am

The message I wrote to husbands was easier to write than this. because I just wrote what Mike does. The message to wives has to be what I have done in the course of our 27 years of marriage. It’s what has worked for us. I have learned these principles through trial and error. There have been several trials and many errors! They say opposites attract each other and that certainly was the case between Mike & I. We are like chalk and cheese, although, we are more like “chaw-se” now…a blend of the two. I was 21 when we married. Mike was 35. Right from the outset, I discovered men don’t like bossy women!

After we married, we went on a three week honeymoon. On our return, we both went back to work and about a week or two later, something happened that I’ve never forgotten. I arrived home from work and Mike was already home. He looked very unhappy. I asked him what was wrong. He said, ‘Nothing!’ I said, ‘I can see there’s something wrong, you’ve got to tell me.’ He said,  ‘No, it’s nothing!’ I was exasperated and insisted on him telling me. Eventually, he walked up to the dressing table in our bedroom and swept his finger across the top of it. “Dust!” he exclaimed! “You need to do some housework!!!” For me, it was a light-bulb moment! “Housework?!” I replied, “I can do housework!” And so began a lifetime of keeping house. I learned that that was the expectation of Mike and it was NOT my favourite past-time!! That’s the truth, but I soon discovered that a clean and orderly home made Mike happy and the aim of my marriage was to do just that.  Mike was meticulous. He had a place for everything and had everything in its place. I was a bit of a messy! That looks like trouble coming! What has happened over the last quarter of a century is that Mike has lowered his standards and I have raised mine. We have compromised. With many women, their husband is the messy and they are the perfectionists. If that’s you, compromise is very important. Division of labour within the home will always be a topic that needs revising from time to time. I’m certainly not left to do all of it.

When it comes to sex, communication is essential. Expectations can run high. Men need sex. That’s the truth. If your aim is to make your husband happy, then you need to transfer that into the intimacy area of your life. A conversation needs to be had regarding your expectations and that of your husband. Talk about your availability and your needs, so he understands that it is normal for a woman to need less sex than a man. But that does not mean your husband can only have sex when you are interested in it. You will have a far happier husband if you make yourself available to him even when sex is the last thing on your mind!

Be happy! My main aim when Mike gets home is to look happy! Even if I don’t feel happy, as I am home before him, greeting him with a smile is what I do every single day! I also don’t welcome him with all the bad news. I may break bad news to him later, but not at the moment he walks through the door. After all, the blocked drain is not going to go away. It can wait! Husbands need respect, appreciation and encouragement. Be his greatest fan and biggest comforter. Tell him everything is going to be okay. Don’t try and change him. Rather pray for him.

Proverbs 31:10

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

Be one of those!

God bless you loads!

In His Grip,

Helga xx 🙂

Gratitude Pic…Our first clivia. Granny would have loved it…