Horrible Childhood Memory

3-05pm

This morning I woke up with an unsettling childhood memory on my mind. It’s amazing how a strong sense of uncertainty and fear experienced as a young child, is carried into adulthood with such clarity and vividness.

We lived in 3 houses in the Waterfalls suburb of (what was then) Salisbury. 236 Cheviot Rd was our home until I was about 7. At the age of 8, we moved to 82 Henley Drive and were there for about 18 months before moving out the area for a year or so. When I was around 11, we moved to 62 Crete Rd. When this incident happened, we were living in Waterfalls, but my exact age, I cannot recall. Somehow I remember running back along a cycle track towards our Crete Rd house, but in my mind, I was far younger than 11. I was very young and vulnerable and should not have been doing what I was doing.

My older siblings had been having a lot of fun with nails and wool. They would make these amazing wall hangings. A piece of wood with a design of nails hammered into it. Wool would be pulled back and forth across the nails to create an amazing symmetrical design…

string_art_demo_08They were easy to make, fun to do and were ‘sellable.’ I, at my very young age, was told to go and sell them and I’d get a cut. Having no money, this was appealing in my eyes, so off I boldly went. I remember someone buying one and being jubilant at the $10,  I took another and went off to sell that.

There was a house close to the garage at the end of the cycle track. It had an open gate and a driveway leading up to the stoep. I guessed there was someone home, so I walked up the path and knocked on the front door. A man opened the door. I cannot tell you how old he was, but he had dark hair and a beard. I showed him the nail and wool picture and asked him if he would like to buy it. He invited me in. I walked into the lounge. He didn’t offer me anything, but he didn’t seem uninterested either. He engaged me in some small talk and then said, ‘come with me.’ Thinking he was going to get money to pay me, I followed him down the passage. He went into his bedroom. He said, ‘come inside.’ I was a little girl. I wanted the money. I took a step forward over the threshold. Then suddenly, something happened. Maybe, it was the way he looked at me, or the fact that he wasn’t doing anything actively to give me the money. I was compelled to leave. Gripped with uncertainty and fear, I ran back down the passage and, without looking back, I fled. My heart was pounding (as it is now!) and my mouth was dry. I ran until I was on the cycle track. I was afraid he would have followed, but he didn’t. I never tried to sell another nail and wool picture. In my young mind, I understood that something bad may have happened. What exactly, I wasn’t sure, but I knew that I had been saved from some kind of evil.  By God’s grace, I ran.

Proverbs 22:3

The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.

I look back on the ‘sixth sense’  that some may say I had and I see the hand of God on my young life.

But one thing, I know is that I don’t want this reflection to get any more head-space. It’s just not worth it….

Don't hold a grudge

Thank you Jesus, that I am FREE!

Time to embrace this majestic Cape Town ‘winter’s’  day…

Majestic day

Keep the smile going!

God bless you!

In His Grip,

Helga xx 🙂

Gratitude Pic…perfect potted parsley…

Parsley

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