What a difference 30 years makes.
I think if I have to look back at myself 30 years ago when I was about to marry Mike, the one glaring difference is the amount of confidence I had in myself. At 21, I had very little confidence in myself and in my abilities. There are many things I have learned over these years. Perhaps if someone reads this they can learn something and perhaps it will lead them to be a little less harsh on themselves.
- At 21, I knew I didn’t know everything, but I thought I was abnormal because I didn’t!
I don’t know what I was thinking at aged 21 in believing that while I knew I didn’t know everything, I should have! What I have learned in the last 3 decades is that I will NEVER know everything. To my 21 year old self I would say, “you don’t need to know everything!” Be prepared to learn. Be prepared to admit that there are holes in your knowledge and that while you may not know all the answers, you will try and find them out. That’s what I know today. There are still huge gaps in what I know, but I’m happier to acknowledge that and learn what I need to know. None of us can ever know everything.
2. Even though people may disagree with me, it doesn’t mean I am wrong.
Shew! It’s taken me many years to learn this lesson. If someone disagreed with me 30 years ago, I sort of allowed my opinion to crumble and thought I was wrong. As the years have passed, I have learned that if I feel my opinion or method is reasonable, I will defend it. If others don’t agree with me, that’s okay. All of us are influenced by our upbringing and experiences in life in different ways and react differently to situations. People may disagree with my point of view because they have had a different experience to me. I will do something my way because it’s worked for me this way. If others do it differently, they are not wrong – they just do it differently.
3. Housework is overrated – I don’t need to beat myself up about it.
I am not a great housewife. In my mind, house work has always been overrated. There are always going to be more important things to do. Thirty years ago, I would wallow in misery over the fact that I was such a lousy housewife! Gone are those days! The other day, I only made the bed at 3pm. No one cared, not even Mike. In fact if you had to ask him, he probably didn’t even notice. I love living with order and I do … in fits and starts. The problem is that the order always deteriorates to disorder and we have to start again. I don’t need to beat myself up about it!
4. What I thought would be a weakness would be a massive strength.
Throughout my life I have remembered what a teacher wrote on my school report when I was in Standard 5. “Helga could do very well if she did not spend so much time worrying about others!” Being concerned about others is a great strength! The other thing that I thought would be a weakness was when I dropped back a year and ended up in the so-called ‘B’ stream. As a result I had to two terms of typing. Back in the late 70s, no one could ever have predicted how important touch typing would be in the incredible age of technology we live in today. Typing was considered a non academic subject, yet it set me up for a life of really swift computer communication. My touch-typing skill is one of my biggest assets.
There is much more to write, but that’s enough for today!
Matthew 19:30
But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.
These are the days!
Keep the smile going!
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂