One of the many reasons why married couples go off the marital tracks is because they long for the warm fuzzy feeling a new relationship brings with it. The fact that the warm fuzzy feeling cannot be maintained indefinitely no matter how many relationships you go through seems to escape them.
Men and women have entirely different definitions of romance. Ask a woman what romance is, she will say candle-lit dinners, red roses, special outings etc. A man may say all of those as well, but definitely add sex to the list.
Keeping romance alive during marriage is an ongoing challenge. There are so many demands made on a growing family with pregnancy, a newborn, sleepless nights, endless work, romance seems to be the last list on the to do list. Yet its importance through the different phases of life is essential.
Dr. James Dobson recommends talking about the days when you first felt the buzz of exciting romance. One of the things about having families is that they grow up. I recall talking to my children when they were still tiny about how I met their dad. They soon forgot the story, so I enjoyed telling them when they were around about 7 or 8. How fun it was to rehash the whole event when they were 11 or 12. By now they were beginning to remember it, but it had a different perspective when they heard it once again when in their teens. Not only is it a good way of rekindling the lost flame by fondly recalling those memories, it’s a great way to build family memories while driving. I had to admit that eventually they knew the story and didn’t need to hear it again!
Going down memory lane can also be done in real time. Re-visiting your honeymoon spot or the place you went on your first date. Mike & I had breakfast together at a restaurant on the morning of our wedding. One day we revisited it and it was a sweet memory reminding ourselves of how we parted ways on that morning saying “see you at the altar”.
Other ways of rekindling the fire of romance include date nights, weekends away on your own, sending the children to grandparents for the evening and spending it at home alone. Surprising your spouse is a great way to break a time of marital lethargy.
While many men may be romantic and know exactly how it’s done, there are equal numbers that don’t have a clue. Here are some real turn-on tips for husbands to try on their romance deprived wives:
- In a crowded room, whisper she’s the most beautiful person in the room.
- Hold her hand while walking.
- Offer to cook/buy dinner.
- Run her a bubble bath.
- Bring home an unexpected gift at an unexpected time.
- Pay her attention.
- Listen to her.
- Spend time with her.
- Surprise her with a weekend away. It must be a surprise. Women love romance.
- Arrange a baby sitter for the evening and take her out to dinner.
- Arrive at her workplace with a bunch of flowers on her birthday, your anniversary or Valentine’s Day (or on a random day because you know she’s going through a hard time). You will gain so many points you won’t know what to do with them all!
- Arrive at her workplace, having arranged with her boss for her to have the day off. Collect her unexpectedly and whisk her away to a mountain top rendezvous for a day out, just to be able to spend time with her.
- Treat her like she’s your most prized possession.
- Compliment her in front of your children, your friends and family.
One my best memories was celebrating life by going to the beach on a beautiful evening and setting up a romantic table for two…
We must do it again sometime! 
Song of Solomon 6:3
“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine;”
Keep the flame burning.
God bless you!
In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂