8-23am
Over the last two days, on Focus on the Family, we have heard a brilliant two part series by Dave Carder.
It’s entitled:
Friendship or Flirtation – Danger Signs for Couples. Here is the link for the online programme. Copy and paste it into your URL line and you can listen to them online.
For those who can’t listen to audio on their computer or want to skim through the points Dr. David Carder made, I found them online as well:
Here are the danger signs for a close call friendship:
1. You save topics of conversation for someone other than your spouse.
2. You share spousal difficulties with this person. For example – “You’re a woman, help me understand how my wife works.”
3. Your friend shares relationship difficulties with you.
4. You anticipate seeing this person more than your spouse – this is a sign you are already sliding sideways. Keep in mind that you see your spouse at the 2 worst times of day – first thing in the morning when things tend to be chaotic and in the evening when you are trying to get dinner ready, homework done and you are tired from the day.
5. You are more concerned about your friend than your spouse.
6. You provide special treats for your friend.
7. You fantasize about marriage with this friend.
8. You spend more alone time with your friend than with your spouse.
9. Your spouse does not have access to all of the conversations you are having with this person – email, texting, in person, etc.
10. You spend money on this friend behind your spouse’s back.
11. Conflicts arise between you and your spouse over this friendship.
12. You lie to your spouse in order to spend time with this friend – ie. 13. You go into work an hour before you really need to be there in order to see your friend.
14. You hide interactions with your friend from your spouse. For example, “Don’t smile at me when you see me at church, my husband is watching.”
15. You accuse your spouse of jealousy when the friendship is brought up.
16. You develop special rituals with your friend that are highly anticipated by both parties. When the rituals don’t happen there is great disappointment.
17. Your friend shares his/her feelings or touches you, which creates an inward response.
18. You have conversations with your friend that include sexual content.
19. You participate in corporate travel with your friend – also known as corporate dating. 20.You participate in business travel where meals, alcohol, entertainment are involved and you are staying at the same hotel.
If you can say YES to even ONE of these, it’s time to relook at the “friendship” you are having with your “friend.” The Bible says this:
Run (FLEE!) from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)
Be an open book with your spouse. You are an open book with God. He knows everything. He sees everything.
Hebrews 4:13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes, and He is the one to whom we are accountable.
If you have needs, be them physical or emotional make your spouse the first person you turn to, to have them met.
God bless you!In His Grip,
Helga xx 🙂